


Diagnosis: Irritation, Secondary to Meeting Annoying Perm Head Doctors

by an__jo



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Attempt at Humor, Blood, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, doctor!gintoki, everyone will probably show up - Freeform, nurse!hijikata, or at least an attempt at romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:33:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26250469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an__jo/pseuds/an__jo
Summary: Hijikata Toshirou, RN is a nurse at Oedo General Hospital. Nothing fazes him--not shits in beds, blood, vomit, or wounds. Except when Sakata Gintoki, MD comes around. Hospital!AU
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 31
Kudos: 84





	1. Compressions Are the Most Important Part of CPR

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been a nurse for a little over 6 months so I've never actually been in a real Code Blue before so I had to reread my ACLS handbook to refresh my memory.  
> Some explanations:  
> -Brain: When I say brain in the context of nursing, I mean a sheet of paper where you can write down important notes that you get during shift change or whatever happens during your shift. 
> 
> -Resident: Doctor who is out of med school and is receiving training at a hospital. Usually the first year is the intern year, where they rotate. And then after that they can focus on a specialty. I made Gintoki a surgical resident here. I honestly have to look up some more about this though because I’m not completely sure how residency works for MDs.
> 
> -Full Code: so code status is what we use to know if we need CPR or not. Some patients don’t want to have CPR if they don’t have a pulse and just want to be let go and we have to respect that. Full Code means we do everything possible to bring them back if they’re found without a pulse and not breathing. On the flip side, DNR is do not resuscitate—so if they’re found down, we just let them go. And a patient can change this at any time or can request medications to be given but no CPR, or no intubation, etc etc
> 
> -Telemetry: briefly mentioned but if someone is having chest pain, it’s an automatic flag to us because potentially it could be a heart issue. A telemetry unit is where they can monitor heart rhythm and are more specialized to handle issues related to that.

“He’s not breathing!”

_Shit._

Hijikata Toshirou jumped off of his chair and ran to where the cry for help was coming from, his heart pounding in his chest. _It’s been a while since I’ve called a code blue_. He quickly entered the room, put gloves on, and immediately went up to the hospital bed. He patted the patient’s chest and shouted, “Hey! You okay? You awake, sir?!” He placed two fingers on the side of the patient’s—an elderly old man, he noticed—neck.

“I can’t find a pulse.” _Shit. Fuck._

He looked up from the bed. Yamazaki Sagaru—one of the other nurses on the floor—was already across from him. This was his patient, after all.

“He’s a full code,” Yamazaki said with clarity. The nurse pulled up the CPR lever on the bed to make it flat. He reached for the oxygen bag by the head of the bed. He placed the mouth piece over the patient’s mouth and nose, pressing down to get a good seal while tilting the patient’s head up slightly—his face full of focus.

Hijikata looked around the room. Some of the other staff heard the commotion and stayed by the room just in case help was needed. “Kondo-san, take the family member out of the room, please. Sougo, bring in the crash cart.” He pointed to one of the newer nurses who had been watching with curiosity and slight nervousness, “You in the glasses. Come in here and record for us.” With a slight panic, a young man with glasses and black hair—he couldn’t remember his name—came into the room, picked up a marker, and went up to the whiteboard.

His gloved hand reached for the code blue button above the bed.

**_Code Blue. 4 Southwest. Room 440. Code Blue. 4 Southwest. Room 440._ **

It always happened so fast. Hijikata placed his hands on the patient’s chest and pushed down. “1. 2. 3. 4,” he counted while he performed CPR. _Of course, this happens right before I thought about going on a break_. “15. 16. 17. 18…” He saw Sougo rush in out of the corner of his eye—face as passive as ever, but his eyes held a deep determination—with a big red cart. Two doctors rushed after him—one had a silver perm that was hard to miss.

“Suzuki-san. 60-year-old male. Admitted from the ED this morning for monitoring after an instance of chest pain. Already had nitroglycerin and aspirin in the ED. He was fine for me until I left. I heard his wife shout that he wasn’t breathing,” Yamazaki gave a brief summary to the doctors who just came in.

_If he’s here for that why isn’t he on a telemetry floor? Don’t tell me they’re full,_ Hijikata thought with frustration.

“28. 29. 30.” Pause. Yamazaki gave the oxygen bag two squeezes. “1, 2, 3…” He restarted his compressions. He was sweating now. 

Sougo took out the defibrillator monitor and placed the pads on the patient’s chest. “Turning on the defibrillator.”

_“14. 15. 16…”_

**_Analyzing rhythm. Stop compressions now._** All activity stopped. Hijikata looked towards one of the doctors—the one with the silver hair—awaiting orders. The doctor had his head turned towards the monitor.

“He’s in v. fib. Let’s shock at 200 Joules,” the doctor said in a calm but firm voice.

“Charging at 200 Joules.” Sougo’s voice was barely audible to Hijikata, who was preparing to start compressions again. _Come on Suzuki-san._

Compressions resumed “1. 2. 3…” He got up to ten when Sougo said the shock was ready and to clear the bed. All hands were up, no one touching the bed.

“Clear!” A button was pressed. “Shock delivered.”

It always happened so damn fast.

* * *

Hijikata watched as Yamazaki and Sougo wheel the patient's bed down to the ICU. Yamazaki sent him a grateful smile as he pushed the bed past him. He let out a deep sigh of relief. A smoke would have been really good right now. _At least we managed to get him back._ With the Code Blue over, people started to file out and get back to whatever they were doing before.

He walked out of the room and turned towards Suzuki-san’s wife. Kondo Isao—the nurse manager—was standing next to her with tissues, explaining to her that her husband was going to be transferred to the ICU for further monitoring and that he’ll be well taken care of there. She nodded tearfully. When she noticed Hijikata standing by them, she came up to him.

“Thank you so much for your help. You saved his life,” her voice was shaking and her hands were trembling as she held her tissue tight. She looked him in the eyes and he could see how grateful she was.

“It was no problem, ma’am.” He said with a small smile, patted her shoulder, and walked away. He heard in the distance Kondo offer to escort her to the ICU where she can be with her husband.

He went back to the computer he was sitting at before all the commotion. He stared at all the tasks on his brain. _I have dressing changes in 42 and 45. Vital signs for all five of them. Medications for all of them. 47 still needs a bed bath. I hope 50 hasn’t shit the bed yet. Maybe I can see 42 and 45 last after I do medications for the other three so I have more time for dressings._

On the Medical-Surgical unit he worked on, the maximum number of patients he got was five. And as always, he got five patients today. It was a busy floor for even the most experienced nurses. He just hoped that if he could catch up on his tasks in two hours, the busyness would die down for at least enough time to eat his lunch.

_I guess I can’t take a break anymore._ It couldn’t be helped. Working on this unit was always busy and there were some days where taking a break just didn’t seem possible. Hopefully he could find time for one later in the day. It was only noon and there were seven more hours to go. Kondo would be mad if he found out that he didn’t take a break at all.

_“Toshi! You have to take your breaks! Just ask someone to cover you. They’ll be happy to. You can’t give good care when you’re exhausted. You know that.”_

He definitely did not want to hear that lecture again. He had it memorized by now because Kondo gave it every time he goes a shift without eating his lunch. He was starting to feel hungry though so he decided before he rounded on all his patients and start his medication pass, he was going to eat a few saltines in the nutrition room. As he stood up from his chair, Yoshida Shouyo stopped by the nursing station. The silver haired doctor was beside him, wearing a somewhat bored expression.

“Ah—hello, Yoshida-sensei. Thanks for your help on the code today,” Hijikata greeted the surgeon. Yoshida-sensei was one of the only attendings at Oedo General Hospital that he enjoyed working with. He was kind, considerate, and listened to him and the patients they had together. He always tried to make his patients feel included in their care because healthcare can be confusing and anxiety inducing. He also didn’t look down on the nurses and trusted their judgement when they had suggestions so they can better take care of their patients.

“Oh, don’t thank me, Hijikata-san. He did the work. I was just supervising,” Yoshida-sensei said with a smile and gestured towards the man next to him. Hijikata noticed the unkempt hair, wrinkled white coat (and equally wrinkled teal hospital issued scrubs), mismatched socks, and maroon dead-fish eyes behind black glasses. He was opening up a lollipop (did he take that from the pediatric unit?) and stuck it in his mouth. Was this guy really a doctor? Compared to the always professional Yoshida-sensei, this guy looked like a slob. “This is Gintoki. He’s one of the new residents that are working with me. I pulled him into the code so he can get some more experience.” The older doctor then gestured to the nurse. “And this is Hijikata-san. He is one of the nurses here—and a very good one and I think you can learn a lot from him when you work together.”

“Hey, nice to meet you, Oogushi-kun,” Gin—the _slob—_ said in a carefree manner, words slightly jumbled as he kept the lollipop in his mouth. Was he serious? Didn’t he just hear Yoshida-sensei say his name? The _slob_ had his hand up in the air in what resembled a half assed wave. Where was the professionalism? How irritating.

“Who the hell are you calling Oogushi-kun?!” Hijikata was agitated. This new resident sounded like a pain in the ass to work with—the kind that wouldn’t really care about his own opinions if the fact that he didn’t bother to properly say his name was any indication. He probably was just another doctor in it for the money and didn’t really care about putting in the hard work. Hijikata’s brow furrowed and felt his face get warm with irritation. The _slob_ had the audacity to smirk and lean forward a bit.

“You. That’s your name isn’t it? _Oo—gus—hi-kun_?” Now he was doing it on purpose. The nurses around them stared with concern for the new doctor. They just hoped he was going to get out of this interaction alive. Hijikata was known as the Demon Nurse among the new graduate nurses and doctors for a reason.

“My name is Hijikata! You better remember it, you dumb perm head.”

“Hey! Leave my hair out of this—” They were both leaning towards each other across the nursing station.

“Okay—sorry about that Hijikata-san! Gintoki here is just bad at names.” Yoshida-sensei flashed a placating smile to Hijikata. He turned towards Gintoki with a forced one. “He’ll remember next time, right?”

“Yeah yeah, Shouyo-sensei. Sure thing.” Gintoki conceded—but didn’t sound like he really meant it—as he turned his head to the side and leaned back from the station. Hijikata rolled his eyes.

“Well. Now that that’s settled. Let’s go finish our rounds.” Yoshida-sensei lightly pushed Gintoki towards the other nursing station down the hall where all the other residents were gathered. Hijikata huffed and walked towards the nutrition room, irritated he let himself get dragged into some stupid argument and now he’s even more behind than before. He had to do dressing changes for two of his patients and medications for all five of them. Not to mention he still had to do vital signs on all of them. He opened the door to the nutrition room with his badge and grabbed a handful of saltines. He ripped the plastic apart from a few and shoved them into his mouth. He couldn’t wait to go home. While he was trying swallow the dry crackers down, the door opened. He looked up and saw the young man with glasses from earlier—Shimura Shinpachi, he finally remembered, who was one of the new graduates that got hired a few weeks ago. He was a hard worker with a good head on his shoulders. _He’s got the same last name as the charge nurse over on 4 East._

“Hi Hijikata-san! Sorry to bother you, but your patient in 50 had a bowel movement in the bed and needs to be cleaned up. I checked and Kagura-chan is on break right now so she can’t clean him up...” he rattled on. “If you want, I can help you clean up!” The young man nervously added. 

Hijikata breathed in and out. He loves his job. He really does. But would it be so bad if he had one shift where everything went according to plan? _Well shit. Here we go again._

“Okay. I’ll be there. I can meet you in the room in a bit. Thanks.”   
  


_I can’t wait to go home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I literally couldn’t stop thinking about it so I decided to write it. Writing isn’t my specialty, so bear with me here. I’m still debating on making this a fic with a plot or just a series of oneshots set in this universe. We’ll see! I'll try to update semi-regularly, but I got moved to a new shift at work and I have to readjust my sleep schedule. Feel free to use this universe if you want! This is based off post I made a few days ago.  
> Found here:  
> https://t0sshii.tumblr.com/post/627585885562617856/ginhiji-hospital-au


	2. Hydrate Before Drinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If using my friends (and myself) and coworkers as references, healthcare workers go really hard after work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah just some explanations for context!  
> -Usually if you work 12 hour days you work for 3 days and off 4. Sometimes the schedule doesn’t work out so that all the days are in a row though but that day 3 out of 3...... is killer because you’re so exhausted  
> -Resource nurse: this is a nurse who comes in and their job is literally just to help out anyone who needs it. Sometimes they have their own patients if the staff is short but usually they just do whatever needs to be done to help, just ask them!,  
> -“my Friday”: usually that shift before you get your days off is referred to as “your Friday” even thought it might not be a Friday. At least that’s what we say at my work

Hijikata sighed as he finally slid his ID through the time punch machine, relieved as his twelve-hour shift ended. The Code Blue earlier caused him to fall behind and he spent the last six hours trying to catch up with his tasks as well as deal with the unexpected issues that arose during that last hour. It was a miracle he managed to finish his charting on time. Upon seeing the confirmation that he was officially clocked out, he placed his ID back on his badge reel that was clipped on his uniform collar and turned toward the exit, hands in the pockets of his coat.

“Toshi!”

At the sound of his name, Hijikata turned around. He saw Kondo speed up to catch up to him. “Ah—yes, Kondo-san? Did you need me to do something?” he wearily replied. He dreaded the possibility of getting asked to work overtime or to pick up an extra shift, especially since it was his day off tomorrow. Normally, he wouldn’t mind but the day had been busier than normal and he had already worked three days in a row. He was exhausted, the feeling of burnout slowly seeping in.

“Yes!” Kondo enthusiastically replied, causing the other man to stiffen. _Here it comes. Just say no_. “This is something only you can do, Toshi!” _This time, I’ll definitely say no—_ “I want you to have dinner and a drink with me!”

_Oh._

As tempting as a drink after a hard shift was, Hijikata felt like he was going to pass out if he didn’t get to his apartment in the next twenty minutes.

“Thanks for the invite, but I was actually thinking of going home and—” he was interrupted as Kondo gripped his shoulders, concern breaking his usually cheerful appearance.

“I heard from Shinpachi-kun that you didn’t eat your lunch today. And you only had saltines in the break room again.”

“It just got busy, so I didn’t have time—”

“That’s no excuse! How many times do I have to tell you to ask for help? That’s why I’m here. That’s why we have Sougo today as resource! If you ask anyone to cover for you, they’ll gladly do it,” Kondo exasperatedly told him. He has given Hijikata this exact talk many times before, the nurse had it practically memorized it by now. It’s not like he didn’t want to take a lunch break. In fact, nothing would make him happier than to be able to eat his mayonnaise with a side of rice, but he hated the idea of asking someone to cover him for a break while he’s behind. Everyone has their own workload for their patients and the thought of adding to it because he wanted to eat didn’t sit right with him so he would always try to take a break when he was caught up and his patients were all set up—they got their pain medicine, or got help to the bathroom—so they wouldn’t call the break nurse. Of course, he didn’t mind catching up for someone when he was asked to cover. “I’ll even treat you tonight!”

_Well—if Kondo was treating, then just one drink wouldn’t hurt._

“Fine.” Hijikata relented. He checked the time on his watch. Almost 8 PM. He quickly opened his work bag to make sure he had his mayonnaise bottle—because what if they ran out of mayonnaise? What would he have to season his food with? “Let’s get going before it gets crowded,” he said with relief after he felt the bottle nestled in his bag. It was a Friday night so the bar was going to start getting crowded as people got off from the work week.

“Great! Let me just get Sougo and Yamazaki!”

If Sougo was coming, he should have just gone home. Too late to back out now. 

* * *

“Wouldn’t it be nice if PACU didn’t wait until 7 PM to send up their patients? Like why can’t they wait until after shift change?” Yamazaki slammed his empty beer onto the table, almost knocking into Sougo next to him. “It’s like they think about the worst time to send a patient up! And then send them at that exact time! It’s not like we can stop shift change,” voice slurring as he complained. Kondo nodded in agreement with enthusiasm.

“It’s because the off coming nurse wants to go home.” _Or it could affect staffing._ Hijikata rolled his eyes from the other side of the booth as he poured mayonnaise from his personal bottle onto his katsudon, ignoring the disgusted looks from the company around him. He understood the frustration. The worst time to get a new patient is during shift change because it disrupts the whole work flow. No one is available because they’re all getting report so the receiving nurse has to pause getting updates on their patients. Then the ones giving report end up giving it late and rush through it. Even if the resource nurse gets the new patient settled, the primary one would still have to make sure the patient is assessed before anything else happens. It throws everyone involved off. But nothing is perfect and sometimes it can’t be helped.

“I mean…We _all_ want to go home. I got off late because of it!” Yamazaki angrily took a bite out of some karaage.

Sougo’s eyes briefly settled on the entrance to the bar and then turned back to Hijikata, as the black-haired man took another shot of sake. “Hey, Hijikata-san. So, what did you think about that new resident with Yoshida-sensei today?”

“What do I think of him? He’s an annoying bastard!” Hijikata scowled. “Who does he think he is? Walking around with wrinkled scrubs and messy hair. It’s like he doesn’t even _care_ that he’s here.” Another shot. He missed the fact that Sougo had refilled his cup with more sake. “He looks like he just rolled out of bed and came here!” The alcohol was starting to get to him. He could feel his usual calm demeanor slip away as he ranted, voice getting louder, cheeks feeling warmer. He took another shot; his usually good judgement left him.

“That’s probably what he did, Toshi. He is a resident after all,” Kondo laughed.

“Ahh—keep going, Hijikata-san,” Sougo said in a flat tone and eyes darting to the side that went unnoticed by the ranting man.

“ _And_ he didn’t even bother to say my name properly. Even after Yoshida-sensei said it in front of him. Then he started doing it on purpose! It’s like he _knew_ it would piss me off. Just thinking of his face makes me want to punch something.”

“So you think about my face, _Oogushi-kun?_ ”

Hijikata turned (swayed) to where the familiar (irritating) voice came from and came face to face with a smirking Gintoki. He felt his heart beat faster—probably from both the alcohol and the sight of the man he was complaining about.

He struggled to find the words that would absolutely destroy the cause of his rising blood pressure. “I was thinking about how vets can use your face to make dogs throw up.” Good one. Got him. (Little did he know it came sounding like a slurred mess).

“I think it would be easier to just give the dogs whatever abomination you’re eating.”

“How dare you—”

He was interrupted when he heard a high-pitched voice interject. “He might be right Gin-chan! Maybe that’s why Sadaharu always bites you!”

Gintoki slightly turned around. “I’ll have you know Sadaharu can’t resist Gin-san’s charms,” he dramatically gestured to himself. “Keep hurting my feelings and you can pay for your own food.”

Another voice mumbled, “Don’t offer up my money like it’s yours to spend.”

Hijikata redirected his attention to the group of people standing behind him, all still in their scrubs just like himself and his coworkers. It took him a few moments but he recognized the small one with her red hair up in two buns as Kagura, one of the nursing aids on his own unit, and Shinpachi. Kagura and Gintoki were still arguing over how much food to order. He also vaguely wondered how those three got acquainted. Gintoki and Shinpachi were new to the hospital so those three had to have met before starting work here, since they all acted like good friends already.

“Oh! Shinpachi-kun! Surprised to see you here! Where’s your sister?” Kondo enthusiastically addressed the young man while looking around for the woman he was asking for.

“Onee-san was feeling really tired today after her shift so she went straight home, Kondo-san.” Kondo visibly deflated after hearing the answer but brightened up again in the next two seconds.

“That’s too bad! I would have loved to be blessed with Otae-san’s beautiful presence on my Friday.” Shinpachi made a barely disguised disgusted face at the remark. “What brings you guys here?”

“Since it’s Shinpachi’s first paycheck, we thought it would be best to celebrate by having him treat us to drinks and dinner!” Kagura cheerfully answered, making a point to ignore Shinpachi’s annoyed eye twitch. Toshirou felt a twinge of sympathy for him.

“Well feel free to join us if you want! I’m treating them for drinks since it’s all our Fridays!” Normally, Hijikata didn’t mind Kondo’s welcoming personality, but now was not the time—especially when a certain silver haired idiot was part of the group he was welcoming. The last sentence seemed to have caught Gintoki’s and Kagura’s attention.

_Those freeloaders._

“If you’re so generously offering, it would be rude of us to refuse, right?” Gintoki said as he made a move to sit next to Hijikata, who was now sandwiched in between the doctor and Kondo. Shinpachi followed. Kagura pushed Sougo to make room for herself on the other side, not noticing Yamazaki’s yelp as he was slammed into the wall. She then proceeded to eat the croquettes off of the plate that was in front of her, which happened to be Sougo’s. Kondo asked for another round of beer for the table.

“Why don’t you get your own food instead of taking other people’s, you bottomless pit?” Sougo antagonized Kagura, like he did every time they worked together.

“I’ll have you know that a beautiful lady like me shouldn’t have to ask to be fed,” Kagura dramatically gestured to her own face, not unlike the way Gintoki did with her earlier.

“I don’t see a beautiful lady anywhere. All I see is a black hole sucking in all the food in the area.” But Sougo made no move to take back his plate and just sipped his drink. Kagura rolled her eyes, while still eating the stolen food.

Gintoki was doing the same, taking the new chopsticks he was given and eating whatever food was in front of him. And when the beer came, he quickly filled up his cup and started drinking. Yamazaki just minded his own business, just content that his own food and drinks were safe from the two gluttons. Kondo was boisterously laughing and making conversation with Shinpachi, leaning forward to he could see the young man past Gintoki and Hijikata, who were having their own drunken argument about mayonnaise’s place in the ranking of condiments. The table was definitely getting rowdier now that the group got bigger.

* * *

“So, how do you like working here, Shinpachi-kun? Are you having a hard time?” Kondo asked loudly, trying to speak over the two men between them. He didn’t know what they were talking about—and it wouldn’t have made much sense even if he was listening.

Shinpachi nervously scratched the back of his head, as he put his cup to his lips. “It gets stressful and there are a lot of things I don’t know… But I am learning a lot and so far, everyone has been helpful and answers my questions!”

“Oh good! Do let me know if you need any help, ok? And do let Toshi here know if you have any questions, too! He may look scary but once you get to know him, he’s as squishy as a mayonnaise bottle!”

Shinpachi looked over at Hijikata, who was _trying_ , with great effort, to fill his cup with sake. Some of the drink missed the cup and was getting onto the table. During work hours, Hijikata seemed unapproachable. He was serious and focused while on the job and always seemed busy. But seeing him while off the clock made Shinpachi realize that maybe Hijikata wasn’t as intimidating as he seemed.

“—if I can drank mo’ than ya, then I’m right an mayo is better on rice than yer stupid ass beans,” Hijikata’s face scrunched up in total concentration as he aimed the bottle over his cup. Gintoki wasn’t in much better shape.

“Bring it on. An’ if I drunk mo’ than you, Yer gonna eat sum beans on rice an yer gonna like it.” The doctor took another swig of his beer.

The young man sighed. He decided to stop drinking since it seemed like he and Kagura were going to have to take Gintoki to sleep on the couch in his and his sister’s apartment nearby.

* * *

Toshirou’s eyelids felt heavy and found himself unable to sit up straight at the bar. He had absolutely no feeling in his face. He leaned his back on the booth. His left side felt very warm. Damn. This was why he wanted to go home instead of going out with Kondo and his other coworkers. He usually had more self-control but after a long work week and a hard shift, he let loose a little too much. He had a hard time focusing. The room was spinning and he could barely process the conversations happening around him.

“Gin-chan! You’re definitely paying the next time we go out!” He heard someone say. He tried to open his eyes but he wasn’t sure if he was actually doing it.

“—he said he wasn’t going to go overboard this time. Just because he has a day off…” Suddenly he felt cold on his left side and he lost his balance. He stopped before his head hit the booth.

“Hijikata-san, you dumbass. Can we just leave him here?”

“Shut the fuck up, Sougo,” Toshirou tried to say.

“What was that? He’s literally not speaking any words right now.” Was that Yamazaki? When did he get here?

“Toshi lives a bus and a train ride away… How are we going to get him home?” Right. He has to get home. He mustered up all his strength and tried to sit up straight so he could slide out of the booth.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll make it home with Kondo-san,” Hijikata told the group. He couldn’t really focus on who he was talking to but he hoped they heard him. Kondo lived nearby so if he just went in the same direction, he should be fine.

“…I don’t understand a word he’s saying.”

_Hey! Listen to me!_

“I live down the street so both of them can stay at my apartment. Onee-san won’t be happy if we wake her up though…” That voice sounded like it came from someone who wore glasses.

“I can help Gin-chan and the gorilla and Shinpachi can help Toshi!”

And then everything went black.

* * *

Hijikata blinked his eyes open. His headache was killing him. One of these days, he was going to try drinking while having IV fluids running. Maybe that would prevent a hangover. He heard from Harada that it does.

His back felt a familiar warm sensation. The room was still spinning as his surroundings came into focus and he realized he wasn’t in his own apartment. There was a couch next to him. How did he end up sleeping on the floor? Who took out a futon? He saw a paper bag that was lined with a plastic bag right next to his head and a bottle of Pocari. Closing his eyes, he turned his head and was met with a sleeping face and a head full of silver curls, snoring away.

_Oh hell no. What happened?_

Toushirou lifted the blanket on top of him with shaky hands and saw that he was clothed. Though he did notice that he wasn't in the navy-blue scrubs he was wearing the night before. He was wearing a snug Otsu-chan (don’t ask him how he recognized idol) t-shirt and his boxers. Gintoki next to him was also wearing an Otsu-chan—which was even more tight on him, Hijikata made a point to ignore—shirt and pink boxers with strawberries on them.

_Okay, at least I have clothes on._

He turned towards the couch again, taking care to not wake up the sleeping body. He was sure that if he woke up, there would be loud yelling and that would not help with his hangover. He slowly sat up and reached for the sports drink next to the paper bag, which did not have any vomit in it, much to his relief. There was a note on the bottle.

 _This is Shimura Shinpachi’s apartment. We took you home last night because Kondo-san said you live far. Feel free to drink the Pocari and just please try not to do anything to wake up my sister. Who knows what she would do to you if you woke her up on her day off_ … _I left both of your scrubs by the front door!_

_-Shinpachi_

Hijikata opened the sports drink and took a small sip, hoping that if he sipped slowly, he wouldn’t throw up. He turned his body so that his back was leaning against the couch. He was going to have to thank Shinpachi later. The movement caused Gintoki to stir, blinking open his chestnut eyes.

“Ah—my head is killing me. I’m never drinking again…Eh? Am I in Shinpachi’s apartment? Otae is going to kill me when she sees me…” His focus fell on Hijikata.

“Eh—What are _you_ doing here?!” Gintoki said a little too loudly, clutching his own head right after he spoke.

“Shut up, bastard! You’re going to wake the rest of them up!” Oh no. Talking was making him nauseous.

“Don’t talk to me like you own the place! How did we _both_ end up here?”

“I don’t know but don’t fucking speak to me right now. I feel like I’m going—” Hijikata’s eyes widened as he scrambled for the paper bag next to him. He stuck his face in and vomited the contents of last night’s dinner. Gintoki didn’t bother hiding his disgust.

“Gross.”

A door in the hallway creaked open. Hijikata was too busy throwing up but he did notice Gintoki stiffen.

“Who. Is. Here. Waking. Me. Up. On. My. Day. Off?” He knew that voice. It was that charge nurse of the Burn Unit. Hijikata wouldn’t say it out loud, but she intimidated him. Especially when she had that murderous tone of voice, which she was using right now.

“Oh—Hey Otae! So you know how we went out last night?” Gintoki sounded small. Hijikata didn’t know the usually cocky man could sound small. “We went a _little_ too crazy and your brother took us home…” he said with nervous laughter.

Hijikata lifted his head from the bag and immediately regretted it. He never saw such an angry woman. He lifted his hand in a weak wave. “Hello, Shimura-san,” he struggled to get out. _Please don’t throw up again_. “Thank you for having—” he ducked his head into the bag again and vomited more. _Please don’t kill me_. _I didn’t ask to be here._

Luckily, her attention seemed to be more on Gintoki. She walked towards the futon. “Oh hi, Hijikata-san. I hope Shinpachi treated you well last night.” He lifted his head again. Her smile was terrifying. How Kondo saw her and didn’t feel chills going down his spine, Hijikata would never know. She grabbed Gintoki by the collar. She was smiling but her eyes screamed murder. “ _Gin-san._ This is fourth time Shin-chan has brought you here after going out with you. Do you know how much beauty sleep I need?”

“…A lot?”

“Wrong answer.” And Hijikata cringed as Gintoki’s headache got even worse—and it wasn’t from his hangover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh the cliches...  
> I've been meaning to continue this story, but moving shifts was harder than I thought! And we've been so short staffed at work, I've just been tired. I tried writing this while I was waiting for my hair to dry after the shower I take when I get home, so hopefully this makes sense! Please let me know if there's any terminology or work culture stuff that need clarification! I know these past two chapters have been in chronological order, but a part of me still wants to make this a series of one-shots but that's a lot of thinking and my hair is dry now.  
> Also I finished the Gintama anime a few weeks ago and I just feel so empty right now. I cry.


	3. Ventricular Fibrillation is a Shockable Rhythm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we're back with Gintoki's side of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some ages for reference (for myself mostly):  
> -Gintoki/Takasugi/Katsura: 27  
> -Hijikata: 26  
> -Shinpachi: 22  
> -Kagura: 20  
> -Sougo: 24  
> -Kondo: 30  
> -Otae: 25  
> -Shouyo: 40s

Gintoki was a week into his general surgical residency when he met Hijikata Toshirou. It had been a long week of incident after incident that would remind him that after years of medical school, there was still so much he didn’t know. Not being a morning person didn’t help either, since rounds start at the _ungodly_ hour of 5:30 am. He would finally get out of bed after the fourth time his alarm went off in the morning (…or would it still be considered night?), throw on whatever clean clothes he could feel lying around his still dark apartment, and a ten-minute bus ride to the hospital. At this point, his body ran purely on coffee and sugar—which wasn’t really all that different from his usual state but now he’s on a lot less sleep. It helped that the attending he was working with was also someone he’s known since he was a kid and he went to college and medical school with two of the residents starting with him, but still—adjusting to this fast-paced setting was hard.

He was doing rounds with Shouyo-sensei and the other residents in his cohort when he heard a Code Blue being called on the overhead speaker. The surgeons realized the room was nearby and quickly jumped into action, Shouyo pulling Gintoki along with him.

The crowd of people moved out of the way for them. Entering the room with as much confidence as he could fake, Gintoki scanned the area. Two nurses were already at the bedside doing compressions. He noticed Shinpachi by the white board, recording every action that was happening for later documentation. He felt a small twinge of pride for the younger boy. He looked so professional! When did he grow up from the crybaby kid he used to babysit along with his sister and Kagura to this _adult?_

“Suzuki-san. 60-year-old male. Admitted from the ED this morning for monitoring after some chest pain…” The black haired one with the oxygen bag gave a brief report of the patient. “I heard his wife shout that he wasn’t breathing.”

_He really should have been in a telemetry floor. The hell was he doing in a surgical floor like this one?_

Gintoki turned to Shouyo next to him, who gave him a trusting smile and a nod. Years of medical school had at least prepared him for this. He hoped. His hand gripped the bedrail, his knuckles turning white and palms sweaty.

**Analyzing rhythm, stop compressions now.**

All hands were raised above the bed. Looking at the screen on the monitor, he recognized the rhythm. Now what? What voltage should he ask them to charge to? What if he read the rhythm wrong? He needed to think quickly. He looked up and he was met with the bluest eyes he had ever seen across the hospital bed. He was entranced for just a second—taking in the gunmetal color that held a calm and collected focus he wished he had in the moment.

With the help of adrenaline—and possibly that caramel latte with _extra_ caramel he had earlier that day—he was able to steel himself. “He’s in v. fib. Let’s shock at 200 Joules.”

“Charging at 200 Joules.” A boy with hair the color of sand repeated.

 _“1…2…3…_ ”

Gintoki was barely paying attention to the sounds around him. His brows scrunched together as his eyes were glued to the patient in front of him. _Please._

“Clear!” The shock was delivered. Compressions restarted.

**Analyzing rhythm…**

_“200 Joules…”_

_“Clear!”_

_7…8…9…_

**Analyzing rhythm…**

Gintoki was starting to lose track of what to do next. He thought about the poor woman waiting outside the room. He had to bring her Suzuki-san back. He wasn’t about to let this old man say goodbye just yet! Everything was happening way too fast. He looked at the monitor again, thinking about what to do. Should he just shock the patient again? Should he increase the voltage? He turned towards Shouyo. The man looked back at him and nodded.

 ** _Whatever you think. I’ll trust your judgement_** **.** His expression seemed to say. The resident turned towards the monitor again.

“…did you want to start the epinephrine, doctor?”

He looked up from the monitor and was faced with those damn blue eyes again. When did everyone switch places? He finally got a better look at the person’s face, now that he was closer to him. The other man was about his height with sharp features. A curtain of black hair fell over his eyes. He held an air of confidence—like he knew what happened next. As if he’s done this many times before…and that was probably true.

The suggestion seemed to trigger something in his brain because he remembered what to do next. “Y-yes. Let’s start with 1 milligram of epinephrine. And let’s charge to 200 Joules again. Is there a working IV?”

“There’s a working IV on his right arm,” a rather plain looking guy—who had switched to doing compressions—replied.

“Charging to 200 Joules. Drawing up epinephrine.”

Gintoki stared at the man next to him by the monitor, impressed that he could multitask so quickly and accurately. His voice remained as steady as still water. Compressions resumed once again.

“Administering 1 milligram of epi.” 

“Clear!”

With the…whatever number it was…shock, the heart rate changed on the monitor. “He’s in sinus rhythm. Let’s get this guy transferred.” Gintoki sighed in relief. The tension in the room dissipated.

“Good work, Gintoki.” Shouyo said with pride as he smiled at his student. Gintoki felt a smile creep on his face. It felt so good to be validated after such a hard week!

“Thanks, Shouyo-sensei.”

* * *

After Suzuki-san’s bed was wheeled down to the intensive care unit, Gintoki stood in the now empty hospital room. He felt a mix of relief and a sort of emptiness. A few minutes ago, there was someone in this room—just here for monitoring, probably thinking he’ll be able to go home the next day. Now, that person is down in the ICU. He felt a wave of exhaustion. _Maybe it’s time for the lollipop in my pocket,_ he thought as he fished around his white coat pocket. As he was walking by the pediatric unit, he took a lollipop from a basket at the nurse’s station when no one was looking. It wasn’t like anyone was going to notice one piece of candy was missing, right? And he couldn’t think clearly without sugar. If anything, that lollipop was going to save lives.

The doctor’s gaze fell on _that guy_ who was in the Code Blue with him earlier. His cold gunmetal eyes were now the color of a calm ocean as he spoke to the wife outside the room. That was probably a trick of the fluorescent hospital lighting. He directed a warm reassuring smile at her as he patted her shoulder, then walked away.

Gintoki felt a hand on his shoulder. Shouyo was looking at him, still smiling that proud smile. “He helped you out earlier, didn’t he? Let me introduce you to him, since you’ll probably be seeing more of each other.”

The younger man nodded. “Yeah, sure.” He felt a slight pang of nervousness. That guy looked a little intimidating during the code earlier. But maybe that was just because of the high stress situation. Surely, he wasn’t all that bad when things were calm. He shoved the butterflies in his stomach down, putting on his best neutral expression so he wouldn’t show his anxiety. The two walked over to the nurses’ station where the guy was sitting at a computer. The nurse stood up, straightened out his navy blue scrubs, and pushed his chair in when he noticed the two doctors.

“Thanks for your help, Yoshida-sensei.” He politely greeted Shouyo.

“Oh, don’t thank me, Hijikata-san.” Shouyo pointed his thumb at Gintoki. “He did all he work here. I was just supervising. This is Gintoki. He’s one of the new residents working with me.” The older man gestured to the other man. “Gintoki, this is Hijikata-san. He’s one of the nurses on this unit—and a very good one at that. I think you can learn a lot from him as you work together.”

What was his name again? God, he was bad at names. He had forgotten Katsura’s name when he first met him in college and kept calling him Zura. And the nickname just stuck despite Katsura’s constant reminders of his own name.

“Nice to meet you, Oogushi-kun.”

Oogushi-kun’s eyebrows furrowed and a frown appeared on his now reddening face. Gintoki could have sworn his black hair also puffed up like one of those cats in the alley next to the bar when they get startled. _Well, that’s kind of cute. Not scary at all_.

“Who the hell are you calling Oogushi-kun?!” Oogushi-kun raised his voice slightly in agitation. Gintoki tried to suppress a mischievous grin that somehow threatened to appear.

“You. That’s your name, right? _Oo—gu—shi—kuun.”_

“My name is Hijikata! You better remember it, you dumb perm head!” Hey! That was a low blow. Gin-san can’t control how permy his hair is. He’s tried. Somehow it turns out worse than his natural hair.

“Hey! Leave my hair out of this—” He leaned over the station, not realizing the other was doing the same. He was going to let him have it.

“Okay—sorry about that Hijikata-san! Gintoki is just bad at names.” Shouyo interrupted the two. “He’ll remember next time, right?” His teacher sent him a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He knew that smile well and it sent a small shiver down his spine. He was pushed away from the station towards the other station where all the other residents were waiting. He took a seat by Zura and Takasugi.

“So how was the Code Blue, Gintoki?” Zura whispered as Shouyo spoke in front of the group; the other residents around them were writing quickly on their clipboards.

“We got him back. Transferred him to ICU.”

“I saw you forgot about the epi, though.” An annoying voice came from next to Katsura.

“Shut the fuck up, Takasugi.” Gintoki rolled his eyes. Ever since college, Takasugi was always trying to one up him on everything—grades, board exam scores, video games and anything else that could be made into a competition. Gintoki faced forward to look at Shouyo, who was going over the patients they were planning on seeing. He saw Hijikata walk by the station.

“Hey, that’s the guy who reminded you about the epi, right?” Takasugi reminded him with a shit-eating grin.

“Oh! I saw you flirting with him just now!” _Flirting?_ Gintoki turned his attention away from the front to glare at Katsura. For someone who got top grades in medical school and a top score on the board exam, he was really dumb sometimes. 

“I wasn’t flirting with him! I made an innocent mistake on his name and he insulted my natural perm! It’s not like I wanted it to be this curly. I was just about to throw some back at him before Shouyo-sensei dragged me back.”

“What are you—five? Pulling on ponytails doesn’t work on adults, you know.” Takasugi snickered.

“The emergency room is four floors down. I could beat you both up right now—” Gintoki hissed.

“Hey, gentlemen. Is there something you want to share with the _rest of the class?”_ The three men gulped as they looked up to see Shouyo smiling with his eyes closed, a dark aura around him.

“N-no. Just discussing patients. Keep going.”

* * *

Kagura and Shinpachi stood up from their seats in the hospital lobby as Gintoki walked up to them.

“Where’s your sister?” he asked the younger man.

“Onee-san said she was going to head home. She just wants to go to sleep,” was the reply.

“Guess what, Gin-chan! Today is Shinpachi’s first paycheck!” Kagura happily cheered as she slapped Shinpachi on the back hard. The younger boy had started a week before Gintoki at the new graduate nursing program, having graduated from nursing school and passed his own board exams a few months before. It helped that his sister, Otae also worked at Oedo General Hospital, but Gintoki knew the boy was smart and caring enough to make it even without his sister’s help.

“Oh really? You’re a man now, Pattsuan! And you know what men do? Treat their friends to drinks!” he laughed loudly and slung an arm around Shinpachi’s shoulder. After a hard week, all he wanted was to let loose and go to a bar. Too bad Zura and Takasugi were sticks in the mud and went home to sleep. Thankfully, he had other friends to turn to.

“You’re the doctor here, Gin-san. Why do I have to pay? Shouldn’t _you_ be treating _us?”_ the nurse chided. “And you, Kagura! You’ve been working here longer than Gin-san and me! Why don’t you treat us?” Kagura started working as a nursing aid when she turned eighteen to help pay for her college tuition about two years ago.

“You think a woman like me should pay for two men? Shameful, Shinpachi! You don’t know how to treat a beautiful lady.” Kagura replied in a dramatic fashion. She really took on way too much of Gintoki’s flair for drama and freeloading. He used to look after her since her father was always away on business trips and her brother was off doing who knows what. “This is why you’re still a virgin.”

“Can we _not_ bring that up here?” Shinpachi whined. “Fine. Let’s just go. I’ll pay.” He could never say no to these two loudmouths.

The three headed to the bar right across the street from the hospital. As Kagura opened the door, Gintoki noticed four familiar people in scrubs in a booth.

“Hey, that’s the gorilla manager! Let’s go say hi!” Kagura pulled the two guys with her.

“Can you not say that out loud?” Shinpachi, ever the goody-two-shoes reminded her. “He’s our manager!”

“It’s ok! We’re not at work!” the redhead girl carelessly reassured him. They quickly reached the booth.

“—Just thinking about his face makes me want to punch something,” said _Hijikata_ (There! He remembered his name this time).

“So you think about my face, _Oogushi-kun?”_

The black-haired man whipped his head around. His face was flushed from the alcohol and his eyes a murky blue color. His mouth curled into a frown as he struggled to think of a comeback.

“I-I was thinkin’ about how vets can use yer face ta’ make dogs throw up,” the nurse slurred out. Gintoki tried his best not to snicker. He looked like an idiot. Also, was that a mountain of mayonnaise on top of that katsu? Gross.

“I think it would be easier for them to give the dogs whatever abomination you’re eating,” he teased.

Hijikata was cut off from whatever scathing reply he had in mind by Kondo (or the gorilla manager, as Kagura had called him)—who invited the three to their drinking party. And who was he to turn down such a generous offer of free drinks? He took a seat next to Hijikata, followed by Shinpachi. Kagura took a seat across from them next to that sandy haired nurse from the code earlier that day. Gintoki helped himself to the food on the table. He was about to reach for the katsu next to him but he remembered it was covered with mayonnaise.

“Why would they ruin such a good dish by adding mayonnaise?” he remarked with disgust, reaching for the beer that was placed in front of him.

“Hey! Don’t insult mayonnaise! It’s the ultimate condiment!” Hijikata sounded offended on behalf of the mayonnaise. “And it didn’t come with the mayonnaise. I brought it,” he mumbled as he took a shot of his sake.

“Really? You _willingly_ put that shit in your mouth?”

“Like I said… it’s the ultimate condiment! It can even make a plain bowl of rice a delicious meal!” Ew. He hadn’t even drunk that much and he wanted to throw up.

“Aren’t you a nurse? Shouldn’t you know that stuff is unhealthy for you?” The other man’s frown deepened and a vein popped on his forehead. “Also, we all know that azuki beans are better on rice than mayonnaise.” It was his go to thing to eat when he didn’t have anything else. The sweetness of the beans just complemented the rice perfectly. Too bad not everyone had his sophisticated palette. He took a swig of beer, letting the pleasant warm feeling of alcohol sinking in.

“Beans? You think _beans_ are better than mayonnaise? No way.” Hijikata argued, looking a little unsteady as he took yet another shot of sake. Who was refilling this guy’s drinks? “Let’s see…” his eyebrows furrowed in contemplation. The pink had spread from his cheeks all the way down his neck. “If I can drink mo’ than ya, then mayo is better on rice than yer stupid ass beans.”

Gintoki downed the rest of his beer and ordered another. “Bring it on. An’ if I can drink mo’ than you. Yer gonna eat beans on rice and yer. Gonna. Like. It.” Another drink magically appeared in front of him and he chugged all of it, slamming the bottle down with finality, a wide grin appearing on his face as he leaned towards the other man. Hijikata met his challenging gaze, his eyes now a bright cerulean blue.

And that was the last thing he remembered before his vision went black. 

* * *

Gintoki blinked his eyes open. “Ah—my head is killing me… I’m never drinking again.” _Well… that was a lie_. His blurry vision focused on his surroundings. Shit. Otae was going to kill him when she finds out Shinpachi dragged him home…again. How the tables have turned. He turned his head to the side and his eyes widened in surprise when he saw Hijikata leaning against the couch, wearing one of Shinpachi’s idol t-shirts. Drunk Gin-san has been changed into them enough times to recognize them. “What are _you_ doing here?” The space next to him was still a little warm, he realized. Did they share the futon?

Hiding his panic, he looked down and saw he was clothed with an Otsu-chan t-shirt and his strawberry boxers. Thank god. With all that teasing from Takasugi and Katsura yesterday, he would never hear the end of it if drunk Gin-san decided to get a little risqué.

“Shut up, bastard! You’re going to wake the rest of them up!”

“Don’t talk like you own the place! How did we _both_ end up here?” Gintoki ending up at the Shimura siblings’ apartment after a night out is a somewhat common occurrence now that Shinpachi was old enough to go out drinking with him. He was always good at cleaning up his messes. But this is the first time he waking up with someone else with him!

“I don’t know but don’t fucking speak to me right now—” Hijikata’s face paled as he quickly reached for the paper bag next to him and emptied his stomach contents into the bag.

Gintoki really shouldn’t have been surprised that all the commotion they were causing in the living room was going to wake Otae up. Her door opened. _Please Hijikata. Pull yourself together! She’s going to send both of us to the emergency room._

“Who. Is. Waking. Me. Up. On. My. Day. Off?” Her menacing voice sent a cold shiver down his spine.

“O-oh hey! Otae!” Damn it, his voice sounded like a mouse. “So, you know how we went out last night? We went a _little_ too crazy and your brother took us home…” He tried to think of what to say to placate the woman. She got closer; her murderous intent grew in intensity with each step. She was always a strong girl and now that she’s older, her strength was just plain scary.

“—thank you for having—” Hijikata tried to greet her in between his vomiting but ended up throwing up again. Rest in peace.

“Oh hi, Hijikata-san. I hope Shinpachi treated you well last night,” she said with a warm smile. She turned towards Gintoki and her smile turned cold. Hey! No fair! That mayo freak was dragged here too! She grabbed Gintoki by the collar.

“ _Gin-san._ This is the fourth time Shin-chan has brought you here after going out with you. Do you know how much beauty sleep I need?”

It’s not like it could get any worse right? He was already dead.

“…a lot?”

Otae’s smile grew even wider and Gintoki saw Hijikata’s terrified face out of the corner of his eye.

And that was the last thing he saw before his vision went black for a second time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please bear with me, I don't know much about medical or surgical residency! I had to look up various programs to figure out how it works and there are just some things I don't completely understand. And yes, I am aware that there's a Code Blue team full of ICU staff that usually show up during Code Blues, but let's just pretend the elevators weren't working that day so our characters can do it. They're certified, don't worry. Also note: There is such thing as a nursing residency which is basically like training for nurses after they pass their boards and get a job, which is something Shin-chan would be going through right now! Usually a few months of being supervised by a senior nurse and there are some classes and simulation lab you have to attend that are put on by the hospital. I actually went through one in March. 
> 
> Ah, man. I was trying to update at least once a month but... _surprise surprise_ when you're burned out at work (because of...obvious reasons), it's really hard to write about something that's related to work... So sorry about that! Next chapter for sure will be more medical stuff. And I'll try my best to write this time instead of rehashing some things I already wrote. Though, writing from Gin's perspective is fun for me. Hopefully this chapter is as fun to read as it was fun to write (and hopefully with minimal errors--after 4 straight nights of staying overtime I've lost the ability to read haha) 
> 
> With that, I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy. I know that the pandemic is affecting everyone right now in varying degrees. If you want/need someone to talk to or just want to chat, my DMs and asks are open.  
> Discord: meristems#2323  
> [Tumblr](https://t0sshii.tumblr.com/)  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/angeliniiee)


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